I guess before I could get anywhere that I want or deem successful, I’m going to have to go through the good and bad, the beautiful and ugly and the happy and sad.
Naturally not a lover of the bad, ugly or sad but they are necessary. They make us, form us, as if we are a lump of clay and they are the poundings and kneadings we need to become something. Let’s not forget the final process of being place in a kiln (a furnace) that finishes you off.
There are days however when these kneadings don’t feel good. As much as I know they are making me better, I don’t feel like they are. In fact, it feels like I can’t handle any of it. Then I begin to think and question myself.
Where am I going? Am I any good? Will I make it? Will anything ever be just okay?
Usually I’m able to push these doubts and fear aside but there are some days, rare days, that I can’t. I am simply too tired to try. Not only does this kills my inspiration but it frustrates me. Then the next day comes and I’m happy again.
I do suppose we need these days. These days to empty our collected weight and start again fresh. We are only human and life can throw some stones that hurt so much that it feels like the pain will never go away.
At the end of it all, regardless of how bad it is , it will not always be this way.
God simply does not put more on us than we could bear and we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength.
Even if I am sad and cry, He understands my pain even if I don’t understand it myself.